I am sitting here in my living room while writing. All the kids are gone to various places. Our eldest daughter is visiting and so everyone is so happy to see her. I have received quite a bit of music this week, and I am amazed at the beauty of each album. The two that really have evoked very deep emotions are Alien Moon by Amethyste and indesterren by Tom Eaton. Both very different but alike while invoking the feelings I have chosen to keep to myself for the past year or so.
As a Mother of 4 and a Wife as well as being our cat's human, I have neglected my interior self. I am out of balance because I get used to the being surrounded by all the chaos 6 - now 5 people bring to our home. I take care of everyone thinking it will all balance itself out.
I realized just how I have become so lonely even though I am not alone. This does not mean I am unhappy - it means just what it is.. Lonely but NOT Alone. Music has this effect. When I neglect my interior self - music has a way of reaching inside and bring all of what I need to face out. Its part of being an artistic person. I have always been this way. I am a high maintenance creature. My husband knows this and he also knows he cannot fix what is going on within me internally. I just need to be aware and allow that awareness to awaken my senses and do things that will create balance again in my life.
How? Writing music, hanging out with family, writing in my journal, reading, helping friends.